Clearing Negative Self-Talk and Self-Criticisms

“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.” -Yoda

Whenever I start to become consumed by feelings of self-doubt and negative self-talk, I’ve begun the practice of recording my feelings in a journal.

Describing these doubts in writing reduces their impact twofold: First, it’s often the ambiguous nature of self-doubt that hurts the most. Second, recording these concerns seems to somehow remove them from my head.

So, with that said.. here’s an honest-to-god self analysis.

Why am I upset or anxious?

I feel like I’m uncertain about a lot of things. Survival, for starters. Where I’m going to go and what I’m going to do.

I run into resistance and obstacles that seem to conspire to force crap onto me.

I’m just like any other fear-driven human, it’s important that I develop enough awareness in order to be an unbiased observer of irrational fear as it takes place.

Why am I upset or anxious? (Part Two)

I start to feel upset when I begin to question who I am. The self-talk snowballs when I start to tell myself that I’m doing everything wrong. Then I point to things I did wrong, or time I’ve wasted. I get to be too hard on myself.

I’m upset because I want to go somewhere, and get out and do something, but I don’t know what to do, or where to go. It sucks to go out and get stranded or stuck in the middle of nowhere.

Solution: Get out of the apartment.

I get upset when I compare myself to others, when I should learn from and strive to emulate others I admire.

What triggered this? I was reading the “Diary of a Pickup Artist” by Brad P where he was re-telling stories about all of the women he’s slept with, in bathrooms and elevators and in alleys and parks and shit… and it made me feel all in-adequate.

I felt like I should be talking to and dating more beautiful women instead of just letting them pass me on the street, and I was just being a f*cking pussy because I can’t compare to Brad P in this department. But honestly – I have nothing to prove – I’ve had the good fortune of sharing the company of many beautiful, intelligent, fun and interesting women in my life. I cared about them and they cared and supported me, and even though they are not a part of my life any more they each made a positive, lasting impact on my life which I’m grateful for. Banging chicks in staircases and taxi cabs is just not my cup of tea… that’s the reality, and it’s me being honest with myself.

I get upset or anxious when I get stuck inside my head. Every single one of us gets poisonous thoughts from time to time. I need to get outside of my head and focus on the outside.